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Fun At The Dentist

I would rather go to a dentist than a hair stylist. Seriously. At the dentist you get to lay back and relax in a reclined chair, eyes closed listening to your favorite music group. After the initial shot you don’t feel a thing. And after a tranquil session you are on your way home.

Whereas, at the hair salon you have to sit up in a chair, sometimes for an hour or more while someone tortures your hair and head. There’s the smelly hair dye, the burning perm chemical, the hot hair dryer, and the stylist twisting your head this way and that while she styles your hair. And to make matters worse, she’s chatting the whole time to you or to anyone that will listen.

I mean, who wouldn’t prefer the dentist?

Well that has always been my philosophy until yesterday. I had to have a tooth surgically removed. Now maybe there’s a difference between a general dentist and an oral surgeon, I don’t know. But that appointment was far from relaxing. I knew it wasn’t going to go well when the dental assistant put the numbing swab on the wrong side of my mouth. Then the surgeon literally jabbed me with the needle resulting in hitting a nerve that sent fire through my face clear into my nose. Not in all my life have I ever felt anything like that. He apologized and mumbled some excuse about maybe that happened because I had an infection. Yea, right.

If that had been my very first experience with a dentist I can assure you I would never go back again.

After almost two hours he finally moved me into the “surgery” room and pulled my tooth. That took all of ten minutes.

Now that wasn’t the first time I’ve had a tooth pulled. In fact, since I hit my sixties I now have six teeth missing (the first five were painlessly pulled by a regular dentist). I’m starting to panic here. I envision my grandparents with their glass of teeth sitting by their bedside.

The good news is that I can have those teeth replaced. The dentist has given me three options for teeth replacement. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

His first option, of course is the implant method. I say, of course, because it can run anywhere from $2,000-$4,000 per tooth! Um, I’m not spending up to $24,000 to replace six teeth! The dentist will just have to find another way to pay for his new minivan. Maybe if I were twenty years younger I might opt for the implants. But since I’m older I could be dead before I had my teeth paid off.

So that leaves me with two options – the dreaded teeth in a jar (dentures) or a dental bridge. Since I still have some teeth left and I don’t want any more pulled I’m choosing the bridge. It’s kind of an all-in-one package. I can replace my four uppers in one shot. And then my two lowers later on.

I hope I’m making the right decision. I guess I shouldn’t complain. The vet wants $1,500 – $2,000 just to clean my dog’s teeth and maybe pull one! I wonder if they make dentures for dogs.

Since every story should have a moral this one is: Don’t get old, and take care of your teeth because if you ignore your teeth they’ll go away!